Yes, I see you there.

I’ve seen you grow over the past couple weeks, you’ve gotten so big in such a short time.

I do have a fear of you and your friends but that fear only really comes into force when you are too close to me or you seem to appear out of nowhere, then I act on impulse of fear and reach for the nearest shoe or other sizeable solid object I can easily manoeuvre to, in essence, splat you between said object and whatever surface you are on.

But don’t worry, all the while you are there I don’t mind, I’m happy to let you be.

So long as you stay on the kitchen window.

If you decide to venture away I won’t be so, accepting. 

I don’t actually know what it is I fear about you, but the fear is there.

I’m sorry to say one of your friends met the fate I’m warning you about just the other day in the bedroom, I’m afraid he met his demise with the shoe method. 

He appeared out of nowhere and scared the living daylights out of me with the speed he ran along the wall towards me.

I panicked, picked up my shoe next to the bed and.. SPLAT!

The splat still remains on the wall, my fear goes to the point that I just can’t touch it, the thought of going near your splattered friend makes me shudder even now. 

I guess all I’m trying to say is, stay in your spot on the kitchen window and you will live a much longer life.

If you could also tell all your friends to keep away from me too I will be forever grateful.

Sincerely, the mummy who lives in the property the window belongs to.


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